5/19/2005
9:12 PM
haloz... its me again .. haha.. erm.. today .. quite mixed feelings.. hmm... happy: he accept me as friendster.. and msn... break time quite fun.. erm.. nth le.. think i got more sad things than happy things ba.. ok.. get really to contain my sorrows.. hmm.. accept me in friendster...but wasnt shown in my friendster that he is my friend.. he is in msn.. but like not in msn like that.. dun really talk.. afternoon msg him for management book ... replied nope.. and didnt suggest to help me... ask him to help me but no reply..donno la.. haiz.. i think i am veri irritating.... dun u think so... felt so uncomfortable to ask him help me.. haiz..
oh ya.. jean said he was kicked out by a club ytd... then asked jun xiong for help.. haha.. on sch days go clubbing.. haven reach age limit go clubbing...then today didnt cum sch.. lol.. nth la.. dun object... he is not mine anyway.. but here got one ready-made de he don wan... watever la.. hmm.. had confident of starting a relationship with him at the start.. but now.. is up and down.. donno la.. haiz... give him sometime??? but things arent happening .. and how much time he needs? 1mth? 1yr? 2 yrs? or 3.. or even never... for such emotional person like him.. think he will need a loooot of time ... even if he let go.. he may not choose me too.. so .. wat am i doing??? blak.. donno la.. this matter keep bothering me.. ppl keep asking how le.. dun dare to say.. cause will sure cry infront of them one..
* sometimes i really wish i can be myself without any boundaries.. but if i really let go.. i will bring everybody around me into the world of sadness... and i may breakdown even faster than i can expect ...going crazy may be one of my future path*
~ why must ppl live on jus to entertain ppl, meet ppls expectation and behave according wat ppl think u should behave*
* some ppl are always happier to see u fall than to see u won the race*
you make my life perfect-`